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Roommates

Posted by Blogger on October 16, 2011   |   No Comments

College is partly about classroom learning and earning your degree.  But the most critical lifelong lessons often occur outside of the classroom.  Dating, time management, personal care, financial management, life/school/work balance are all areas of challenge and growth for most college students.

But few extra-curricular arenas are as universally challenging as dealing with roommates!
Roommates can end up being your best friends or your worst nightmare.  That’s because home is the most important, sensitive, intimate environment in your life; for a college student, home is usually a dorm room, house or apartment shared with one or more roommates.  It’s your space, your home, your place to get away from it all and relax.  But unless you’re ridiculously lucky, none of your roommates will exactly share your idea of what “home” means.

Your standards of cleanliness, organization, tasteful décor, appropriate noise, good music, privacy, acceptable odor, and quality television are bound to be at least a little different…maybe a lot different!

But working through these differences is great training for life.  If you can learn to really get along with your roommates, regardless of your differences, you’ll be well prepared for harmony in all of your future relationships—with colleagues, bosses, friends, and even a future spouse.

Following are some tried and true tips for dealing with a challenging roommate.  They’re not easy tips to follow, but they do work!

SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND:  If you have something important to talk to your roommate about, start by asking questions.  “What are your thoughts on how we’re keeping the apartment?”  “What do you think of us having dates here?”  When you start by seeking to understand first, your comments will inevitably be more effective because they will be informed!  You’ll avoid sticking your foot in your own mouth by making assumptions and you’ll be able to navigate the conversation with sensitivity to your roommate’s opinions.  Also, nothing gets people ready to listen more than being listened to.

SEEK TO BE UNDERSTOOD: But while listening is the first thing, it’s not the only thing.  You also need to be heard.  Once you’ve asked for your roommate’s opinion on perspective on a given topic, express yours.  Unexpressed grievances and requests will just fester, and you’ll find yourself expressing your unhappiness in ways that will sabotage your relationship.  Expressing your grievances—politely but clearly—is the first step toward resolving them.

COMPROMISE:  As long as there’s good communication, there’s always room to compromise without feeling taken advantage of.  Compromise is not the same as passively rolling over; it’s a gift to the other person that can actually come from strength, not weakness.  Compromise begets compromise, so start the trend by budging and flexing on issues that aren’t paramount to you so that your roommate will be more inclined to compromise on issue that are.

PICK YOUR BATTLES: Some boundaries, however, are worth battling for.  If your roommate is behaving in a manner that makes you feel very uncomfortable, creates a safety issue, or violates your morals or personal boundaries, talk it through with them. Be specific about the concrete behavior (instead of generalizing) and state clearly what you want to change.  Be willing to find creative solutions as long as the core issue is addressed.

GET SUPPORT: A trusted friend, an RA, or a campus staff member can provide a sounding board and, if necessary, a facilitator if you and your roommate simply can’t agree.

BUY A GOOD PAIR OF HEADPHONES: Sometimes you just have to learn to be alone in a crowd.  If your roommate is driving you nuts you might have to find a polite way to make him or her disappear.  A good pair of noise cancelling headphones just might do the trick. 
Finally, here are some links with plenty of advice to help you create relational strategies and stories from other college students that will help you feel less alone if you’re struggling:

http://www.collegeboard.com/student/plan/college-success/26657.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/29/famous-college-roommates_n_664190.html#s119768&title=Robin_Williams_and

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/dealing-with-that-roommate/

http://www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com/

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/08/080825175039.htm

http://www.scholarships-education.com/college-scholarships/32596.php

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College Success Strategy: Willpower Exercises?

Posted by Blogger on October 3, 2011   |   No Comments

The greatest challenge many college students face doesn’t have to do with mastering course material, it has to do with managing life.  Once a college student leaves home, the predictable structure of life with mom and dad disappears.  The student is suddenly faced with a litany of demands, responsibilities and temptations that can seem overwhelming. 

Dr. Kelly McGongal, a health psychologist and Stanford University instructor, teaches students specific strategies for strengthening willpower so that the competing demands for our attention can be tamed.   According to a recent article by Marina Krakovsky in Stanford Magazine, “All About Willpower: Why it’s not enough to just say no,” McGongal helps students with everything from resisting chocolate to procrastination.

McGongal suggests several tactics to college students hoping to strengthen their willpower muscles to achieve more and stress less:

  • Surround yourself with peers who share your goals and values—positive peer support can help you stay disciplined about the right things
  • Do tougher tasks first to avoid falling prey to fatigue and hunger, which can erode self control
  • Remember that cravings and urges will pass if you wait them out—so be patient
  • Don’t mistake willpower for  moral “goodness” because that only makes lapses in willpower feel more discouraging—like a moral failing
  • Using willpower will make you tired at first but stronger over time, so treat it like a muscle–exercise it to make it stronger
  • Don’t quit when you relapse—it’s normal to fail when we’re attempting to change a behavior,  so when you do have a lapse, get up and try again
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Autism-Spectrum Disorder: Nature or Nurture?

Posted by Blogger on September 27, 2011   |   No Comments

Autism-spectrum disorders are caused only by genetic factors, not environmental factors…right?  “Wrong,” says a new study conducted by researchers from Stanford University, UC Berkeley, Autism Speaks and several other institutions.

Twins studies of autism have, to date, mostly focused on identical twins who share exactly the same genetic material.  In this population, when one twin had autism, so did the other at a rate of about 60%.  This was not surprising to researchers who suspected an almost exclusive connection between autism and genetics.

But this new study included fraternal twins in the study group.   In fraternal twins, whose DNA is not identical, the rate of coinciding autism was a shocking 50%, suggesting that environmental factors are significantly at play in causing autism.  For the researchers, whose interest had principally been in genetic causes, this is likely to trigger a significant shift in focus.

Other experts commenting on these findings suggest that the non-genetic factors contributing to autism may be similar to those associated with disorders such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.  These environmental causes may include advanced parental age, frequent pregnancies in a short period of time, poor prenatal care, low birth weight and other factors.

Understanding both the genetic and environmental causes of autism may help researchers discover ways not only to treat the disorder, but to prevent it in the first place.

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Autism Research: Autism Phenome Project

Posted by Blogger on September 20, 2011   |   No Comments

While educators and medical professionals typically view autism on a spectrum of severity—from low-functioning non-verbal forms of autism to high functioning Asperger’s syndrome, a recent study from the University of California at Davis (UCD) suggests that autism may vary in more ways than just severity.  The UCD Autism Phenome Project has found evidence of at least two distinct types of autism, one involving brain enlargement and the other associated with a compromised immune system.

This clue supports the theory that there may, in fact, be many distinct forms of autism, each requiring a different treatment approach.  Researchers have suspected for some time that autism, like cancer, may have many different “strains,” but there has been little specific evidence to prove it.

“The more we learn about the variations of autism spectrum, the more precisely we can customize our approach for each student—something we’ve been doing at Gersh Education for 20 years,” said Gersh Education founder, Kevin Gersh about the Autism Phenome Project.  “I’m glad the research is confirming that a customized approach is really the only way to provide effective treatment and education for those with spectrum disorders.” 

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Spectrum Hero: Aspergian Author, John Elder Robison

Posted by Blogger on September 15, 2011   |   No Comments

Popular author, John Elder Robison, hopes that other people with Aperger’s syndrome will read his book, Look Me in the Eye, and realize that “if I made it okay, they can too.” In an interview with CBS News, the father, author and former engineer credits his parents and other engaged adults for patiently coaching him toward social competence.  Without their support, Robison says, “I might not even speak to people today.”

Robison acknowledges that even with the help of his highly educated and involved parents, Asperger’s syndrome has definitely impeded his social interactions and other areas of his life.  But, he adds, the disorder has also given him gifts that have fueled his success, including highly refined visual and mathematical abilities that have proven useful in his engineering career.

Robison has made it his mission to arm others with both an intellectual and emotional understanding of Asperger’s syndrome in order to provide them with a “sense of hope.”  Robison, maintains a blog and a highly popular Facebook fan page and has authored a second book entitled, Be Different: Adventures of a Free-Range Aspergian.

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AUTISM-SPECTRUM HERO: PRO SURFER CLAY MARZO

Posted by Blogger on September 7, 2011   |   No Comments

Even if you know nothing about surfing, you can’t help but be amazed watching professional surfer Clay Marzo fly through the air.  He’s known primarily for his boldness and stylistic flair—attacking even giant waves with playful abandon.  But Clay isn’t just known for his comfort in the water.  He’s also known for his discomfort out of the water—especially in social situations.  That’s because Clay is the only professional surfer to be diagnosed with the autism-spectrum disorder known as Asperger’s syndrome.

Clay Marzo Slams the Lip

Though Clay has learned to cope with the extremely high social demands of the pro surfing circuit—photo shoots, interviews, greeting fans—these skills have been hard earned.   For Clay, things like smiling, traveling, being on time and engaging in simple conversation have been much more difficult to master than ripping through an overhead tube of raging water or launching an aerial 360 off the lip.

Clay’s mother is largely to credit for helping Clay find his aquatic success. Prior to Clay being diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, his mom noticed that the anxiety he exhibited most of the time seemed to disappear when he was in the water.  Beaches, swimming pools and even bathtubs seemed to make Clay happy and relaxed.  So much so, in fact, that Clay became obsessed with water.  Rather than stand in the way of this very typical autism-spectrum style of obsession, though, Clay’s mom made sure her son got plenty of water time.  By spending more energy cultivating Clay’s abilities than trying to “fix” his disabilities, she implemented a highly effective strengths-based treatment regimen for Clay’s undiagnosed disability.

For those, like Clay, who have an autism-spectrum disorder, “some things are processed so superbly, the person has areas of excellence,” explains autism expert, Dr. Tony Attwood, of Clay’s success in the water.  Clay has learned to turn the obsessive tendencies that often accompany Asperger’s syndrome into a huge advantage, spending an enormous amount of time and focus on his craft.  But even with the obsessive hard work he puts into surfing, Clay has stayed in touch with the main driver of his success—fun.  “Waves,” says Clay with a laugh, “are toys from God.”

Clays’ story, which is featured in the film Just Add Water, is a great reminder that abilities matter more than disabilities.  Unless Clay’s mother had had the insight to honor his attraction to the water, Clay might not have had the same level of motivation or success in tackling his social deficits—something his professional life as a surfer required.

Greatness, Clay reminds us, doesn’t come from the absence of weakness; it comes from the cultivation of strength.

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CUSTOMIZED COLLEGE FOR NEUROBIOLOGICAL DISORDERS

Posted by Blogger on August 26, 2011   |   No Comments

At all Gersh Educational Services programs–including Gersh Experience, we favor an individualized, whole-student, strengths-based approach.  When a student enrolls, our team systematically identifies his or her unique constellation of strengths challenges—academically, socially, physically and cognitively.  This comprehensive assessment allows us to develop a targeted developmental plan that minimizes the student’s stress and anxiety, maximizing their emotional availability so critical to the learning process.  Assessment, care and customization are key elements that allow our students to engage and learn!  

To provide truly effective customization, each Gersh student works closely with a team of educators, clinicians and mentors to develop an individualized program that addresses their specific goals, interests and needs.  Classroom interaction, real-life experiences and 24/7 onsite support helps our students move toward the life they want.  Our holistic approach helps students succeed in the following key areas:

  • Academics: Accredited, on-campus college coursework at either Daemen College or Erie Community College, plus intensive personalized tutoring and academic support from our team of special educators and mentors
  • Employment: Vocational training and opportunities for actual employment help students learn career-related social, organizational and financial management skills.  Our 24/7 on-site mentors ensure that students have real time support as they step, at their own pace, into the world of work.
  • Independent and Community Living: Gersh Experience students live in beautiful historic homes that have been divided into college-style apartments with common living, recreational and social areas. In this setting, they learn the complementary skills of independent and community living.  Our 24/7 on-site mentoring staff ensure that this environment is safe and that students feel supported as they adjust to the twin challenges of independence and community life.
  • Financial Responsibility: Students learn to manage personal finances through a combination of experiential learning, classroom instruction and personal mentoring.
  • Socialization: Gersh Experience is designed to help students safely, progressively step into an authentic college social experience. With ongoing support and social-skills instruction from our mentors and clinicians, many of our students go on their first dates; successfully participate in clubs, fraternities and other social groups; and enjoy a normal, satisfying college social life that prepares them for greater future independence.
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AUTISM SPECTRUM EDUCATION: THE GERSH APPROACH

Posted by Blogger on August 22, 2011   |   No Comments

In our decades of working successfully autistic-spectrum disorder and related issues, we have identified a few core philosophies that guide our practical, effective approach.  Our philosophies honor common sense, the power of human compassion and the most current scientific and educational research.  We believe that our task as educators is to provide the specific tools and support necessary to prepare each student for their highest real-life potential.  Since every student is different, their education must be customized according to a unique constellation of strengths, weaknesses and personality traits. The following broad principles guide our work in all Gersh Education programs.

SURROUND
Even high functioning children, adolescents and young adults with autistic-spectrum disorder and other neurobiological disorders often require a great deal of support initially from their parents and educators.  Knowing this, we hire only professionals who are passionate and knowledgeable about this special and, for the right educator, delightful population.  Our first priority, then, is to surround students with caring, passionate, well-trained professionals who have a love for this specific population. The magic of our success lies in our staff.

ASSESS
Since every student comes to us with their own unique strengths, weaknesses and personality traits, it’s critical to understand that uniqueness in order to create the kind of customized educational plan for which Gersh Education is known.  Using a wide range of assessment tools and techniques, our team’s first priority is to understand each student from every angle: intellectual functioning, social functioning, emotional functioning, personality, likes and dislikes, physical health, and diagnostic profile.  This understanding allows our educators to create an education plan that is customized and flexible to meet the unique needs of each child.

ENGAGE
It’s critical for students with autistic-spectrum and related disorders to have an environment with the appropriate (and adjustable) levels of physical, social, sensory and intellectual stimulation to keep them fully engaged and to teach self-management skills.  All of our programs are designed to foster this kind of whole-person engagement so that students can learn and thrive to their highest potential.

CUSTOMIZE
A Gersh education is a customized education.  Our students come to us with a wide range of abilities and challenges and, therefore, need learning objectives, expectations, accommodations and experiences designed just for them.  They also need a team of professionals who know them personally—their interests, challenges, talents and triggers alike.  Our team members take a personal and passionate interest in helping each Gersh student succeed on their own terms.

EMPOWER
Empowerment comes when students are first understood, then instructed and finally challenged to apply their learning in supported, manageable, real-life situations.  As founder, Kevin Gersh, is fond of saying, “you can’t ask a person to do something he or she doesn’t know how to do.  You have to teach the skill or behavior first before you can set an expectation around it.”  This approach allows our students to take enormous, rapid steps toward higher functioning and independence.

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Gersh Brings Special Education to Middle East

Posted by Blogger on August 5, 2011   |   No Comments

Gersh (left) Poses with his Hosts

MELVILLE, NY, JULY 21, 2011: Gersh Educational Services founder, Kevin Gersh, was recently offered a trip anywhere in the world to explore business opportunities as part of a joint award by Inc. Magazine and British Airways for being one of America’s top entrepreneurs.  “I chose the Middle East,” said Gersh, whose education businesses serve primarily children with special needs, “because I’ve worked with families from that region whose children were terribly underserved due to the stigma of learning differences. Those families need help.”

Gersh found himself in Dubai where he was befriended by a local sheik, Abdul Aziz Al Nuaimi, who helped Gersh navigate the culture and explore the needs of the country and the region. “As a Jewish-American, it was humbling and enlightening to be welcomed into this man’s home as a brother,” said Gersh. “He’s as excited as I am about bringing these much needed services to his community.” Gersh explained that in some circles, having a special needs child is viewed as an indicator of a tainted family blood line. Many families—especially high profile or royal families—react to the stigma by hiding their child’s problem or sending the child overseas.  Gersh and his contacts in Dubai hope to erase this stigma and provide local services for students with autism-spectrum and other learning differences.

Because of Dubai’s progressive reputation, Gersh hopes that it will become a regional hub for improving special-needs services.  Good education and good business, says Gersh, are both about identifying and meeting real human needs. “Dubai is full of incredibly open-minded, compassionate people who just want the best for their children. They’re ripe for innovation,” he said. “It’s exciting.”

About Gersh Educational Services

Gersh Educational Service has served young people with autism-spectrum and related neurobiological disorders for over 20 years.  The company includes a Montessori school, a special-needs camp, several K-12 schools (Gersh Academies), a residential college and career program (Gersh Experience) and a consulting company that helps institutions and professionals better serve their special-needs students (Gersh Consulting).

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Enhanced Clinical Services for Neurobiological Disorders

Posted by Blogger on July 30, 2011   |   No Comments

BUFFALO, NEW YORK, JULY 8, 2011:  Gersh Experience, a college, vocational and independent-living program for young adults with autism-spectrum and related neurobiological disorders, announced several enhancements to its psychotherapeutic services today.  These clinical enhancements began with the March hiring of Dr. Brian Moyer, a clinical psychologist with over fifteen years of experience working with children and adults with neurobiological disorders. 

“We’ve implemented more sophisticated psycho-educational assessments and customized, ongoing treatment planning based on the most rigorous industry and Joint Commission standards of clinical care for this population,” said Moyer.  Gersh Experience students now have access to specially designed psycho-educational groups, processing groups, and individual psychotherapy all supervised by licensed clinicians and Ph.D.-level psychologists. Gersh Experience students live in college-style dorms and apartments, receive extensive social and life-skills training and 24/7 mentoring support, and attend either Daemen College or Erie Community College (part of the SUNY system). 

Gersh Experience graduates have gone on to earn master’s degrees, intern with U.S. congressmen and enter successful careers. According to Moyer, “What’s often missed—especially with higher functioning autism-spectrum students—is their need for emotional support and psychological skill-building. These are highly sensitive young people who have a different style of expressing emotions.”

“We’ve been successful with this population for over twenty years,” said Gersh Experience founder, Kevin Gersh, “because we never stop learning. We hire professionals who love this population and are creative, curious and practical in their approach. As a team, we’ve always been committed to staying ahead of the curve in terms of ‘best practices’ for working with these highly capable, frequently misunderstood young people.”

For more information visit www.gershexperience.com

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